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NonFiction

Ten Things That Excited Me about My Sexuality Work in 2022

Before I tell you the ten things that excited me about my year in the sexual work world, I want to say thank you. Thank you to my readers, fans, supporters, those who inspire, and all folks interested in sexual wellness, erotica, and all things sex. I create content for you to better your life in the adventures you seek. These are the items listed in no particular order that excited me about 2022. Rosy Working with the most sex-positive company, Rosy is a Sexual Wellness Platform for women, and this year I edited thirty-two stories as their erotica editor....

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NonFiction

Sexy Holiday Gifts by Category: Sensuality, Good Vibes, and More

Are you looking for sexy holiday gifts this season? I’ve read at least seven curated lists, and I found the following items to be interesting. I put them in six categories: Sensuality, Good Vibes, Kinky You, Fun & Games, Artistic Flair, and Philanthropy. Be true to yourself and your relationship as you explore your choices. Sensuality in Sexy Holiday Gifts Activating my senses is one of my favorite things for sexual enjoyment. These products could go a long way in meeting that goal. Foria Intimacy Bath Salts with CBD and Cacao What a combination. This formula is about relaxation and...

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NonFiction

How do Women get Purple Sex Alignment? A Fresh Mindset

Purple Sex Alignment? What is It? Purple sex alignment is both a process and an outcome. If you’re reading, you are already working a shift in your perspective. You are receptive to hearing something new. It’s like when folks realize they want something different in the bedroom, they explore and read about new topics. I’ve found that when you want more in sexuality, you notice things you aren’t familiar with, like purple sex. I created the Purple Sex Reflection Deck for Women as a tool to start the purple sex journey. Since most folks never received formal sex education, it...

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NonFiction

Why Language Matters: Use Scenes with Sex to Shift Your Writing Perspective.

Why language matters? Welcome to my world of “scenes with sex,” not “sex scenes.” Did you get it? Do you see or know the distinction? If not, welcome to the mind of a retired sex therapist, college professor of human sexuality, and current erotica and erotic romance writer and editor for Rosy. Join me on a sexual language journey where I replace sex scenes with scenes with sex. Is it Potato, Potahtoe, or Tomato, Tomato? You may be one of those who read the two phrases, scenes with sex and sex scenes, and said, “Meh, potato, potahto, it refers to...

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Twitter Spaces

From Sex Talk to Sex Conversations: The Sexuality Space

Moving from a “sex talk” to a “sex conversation” is a new way to think about sharing important sexual information. It takes an open and curious mind to address the crucial aspects of sexual wellness, including pleasure and desire. Communication is hard, and there are ways to have meaningful sex conversations. Broadening your sexuality world from a sex talk to a sex conversation is a fluid first step to making sexuality an equal and balanced component of your life. When you have been taught not to talk about sex or to understand what it means to you, a conversation about...

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NonFiction / Twitter Spaces

At the Intimacy Intersection of Pleasure and Shame, Let’s Delete Stigma.

Pleasure and shame are addressed in a recent movie, in two directions. Good Luck to you, Leo Grande is a movie where characters meet at the intersection of intimacy and sexuality. Both know shame and taboo tempers their pleasure choices. Each person highlights the other as they seek pleasure, delete shame, and provide caring. Middle-Aged Women. So many women receive messages that after menopause, it’s a downhill trip for sex. And the reality is if you haven’t experienced what you had hoped in your life, it’s time to make a choice to go for pleasure. That’s what Nancy, the retired...

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NonFiction

Sex Conversation Starters to Improve Intimacy in Relationships

What is a sex conversation starter? Sometimes people just don’t know how to begin a conversation related to sex. That is so understandable. Those conversations are intimate and vulnerable. We don’t exactly learn conversation skills at school or at home, much less about discussing anything with sexual content. Without formal learning, we use what we know and it could trip us up. We may focus on how the other person is going to feel versus how it is to be clear with yourself and share. While attending behaviors and listening behaviors are important, so is being clear about what you...

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NonFiction

Jumpstart Writing Sex: A Fresh Mindset, Perspective, and Craft Tools

In writing sex, whether in scenes or threaded throughout your story, to get maximum impact, it takes a type of sex education most people never get. As a writer, you may be a natural-born storyteller and have intuited lots of information in your world about your characters. But what if you also used sex information that provided depth and created holistic characters? As a sex educator and therapist, I see what people miss in their writing. So I ask questions. I created one poll and started there. As you can see below, “Myself” was the answer to what stops you...

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NonFiction / Twitter Spaces

A Disappointing Sex Search in Google Underlines Poor Sex Education

My sex search on Google in preparation for my weekly Twitter Spaces Content in The Sexuality Space provided frustration. I wanted to learn what people want to know about sex. I discovered one interesting article by Dr. Chris Fulton: The Most Frequently Searched Sex Questions in the US. I loved her enthusiasm and contrast to research by Kinsey and sample size compared to Google Trends and analytics. It made for an interesting read but caused me to ponder some basic questions and wrestle with the disappointment of basic sex search information when I searched the question people wanted to know....

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NonFiction

Transform Your Sex Writing to Give Characters Great Sex with Five Elements

Many writers cringe at the idea of writing those sexy scenes, but here are five elements to transform your sex writing and give your characters great sex. Most of us have not been educated on sexuality. How could we be good writers or editors of it without that education? I’ve put my sex education and therapy to use in a new way, understanding the meaning of sex fictional characters and helping authors give characters the best sex than can. How We’ve Learned to Write Sex. “I cannot write a sex scene to save my life,” says too many writers. A...

Sex Talk and Sex Conversations 4

NonFiction / Twitter Spaces

Move the Sex Talk to Sex Conversations: A Powerful First Step

Sex conversations? Sex talk? What’s in a word or a phrase? For some, those phrases can stop you in your tracks. When you read “sex talk,” did it pull you back to your young self, who was watching a parent struggle to provide you with needed information? Or were you the parent, rubbing your sweaty palms, wishing you were anywhere instead of trying to figure out the right things to say to a child? For those who never experienced comprehensive sex education, sex talk is synonymous with perhaps the ONLY time a parent shared sex info. But as an adult,...

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NonFiction / Twitter Spaces

The Sexuality Space: The Year We Created A Remarkable Community with Passion

The Concept of The Sexuality Space Wow. Has it really been a year since I started The Sexuality Space on Twitter Spaces? Yes, it has. The first Wednesday of May in 2021, I launched my inaugural twitter spaces. I remember how the app didn’t work well.  I was unable to invite speakers. My first event was essentially a monologue from me with friends feeding me questions in my Direct Messages and I answered them. That didn’t deter me. I planned and talked and laughed. It was fun. So much has changed over the year from improvements in the app itself...

Book Cover of Sex Camp 0

NonFiction / Twitter Spaces

Brian McNaught: My Interview with “The Godfather of Diversity”

Social Audio Connects the World Back in May of 2021, I began my Twitter Spaces platform called The Sexuality Space. There, I provide sexuality information and resources. I interview experts, chat with book authors, and have open topical conversations. I showcase sex-positive perspectives. In this episode, I interview Brian McNaught. Brian is one of my favorite sex educators. While Brian and I met early in our careers, we each moved in different sex education circles for our sexual topics. Brian is most known for his work in lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer diversity training. The New York Times dubbed...

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NonFiction

Can you Place Your Sexuality Center Stage for a Minute or Even an Hour for Your Sexual Wellbeing?

Sometimes it is hard to admit we are sexual beings with a need for sexual wellness. Our culture, institutions, family, friends have made us feel like we need to hide that part of us. That makes it difficult for us to take time for our sexual self. Frankly, I’ve had enough. Others have subjected my sexuality career to constructed rules and regulations. They relegated my erotic writing to late-night locations, the back room, and the “shhhh place.” Sex itself takes a back seat to something considered more worthwhile. Sexuality professionals have been expected to step aside or step down for...

Sheet of paper in typewriter with words Dr. J. review 2021 0

Dr. J.'s News

2021 Another Tough Year Living as a Writing Hermit

Another Covid tough year has passed, and I prevailed. In fact, I kept my head down and churned out a lot of content. I also got new jobs which cause new projects for 2022. I’m so grateful to my fans and followers. You make it all worthwhile. What I missed this year was regular hugs and close, intimate conversations with my friends and family. In between Delta and Omicron, I did visit with my NC author friend, Darryl Bollinger, and hosted the phenomenal Mischa Eliot and Heather Whitaker for a writing retreat. I said Bon Voyage to fellow writer and...

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NonFiction

Women, Let Your Orgasms Surge

I’ve lived with orgasm inequality for my entire life and my forty-five-year professional sexuality career. Back in 1998, Viagra, the little blue pill for erectile dysfunction, hit the market. I remember listening to a sex therapist who had consulted for this product. He talked about the choice they offered him for his work, to be paid cash or in stock. Hindsight says stock, don’t you think? Men’s issues get men results. A New Player Emerges But this year, change is in the air. Will women’s issues get women results? I’m experiencing places where they have. I discovered Vella Bioscience. This...

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Dr. J.'s News

In Conversation with Rose Caraway

In my last post, I shared that I was a new Twitter Spaces Host. This blog post marks my third event. I created a mission statement for my space. My plan is to talk with lots of different people in the world of sexuality. I’m really excited about the new features Twitter has added to Twitter Spaces. When you are on my Twitter feed you can click on the event, see details, to get more information. This is where the scheduling function resides so you can get a thirty-minute reminder before the event starts. You’ll also get a reminder when...

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Dr. J.'s News

It’s Official. I’m a Twitter Spaces Host!

Life in 2021 is gearing up. I have some new and wonderful event launching this week. On Wednesday, May 5, 2021 Noon ET I will host my inaugural Twitter Spaces #TheSexualitySpace. I’ve been writing about the journey on Medium. Check out these articles: As an author, I’m afraid I might become a twitter spaces junkie and Look Out Twitter Spaces because my southern drawl with rock your world. Connecting with folks on social media is a fascinating proposition, and here’s a new tool. It’s called Twitter Spaces. When it arrived, I was first intrigued and then disappointed. It was in...

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NonFiction

2020 in the Rearview Mirror

On the last day of the year, let’s see 2020 in the rearview mirror. Five years ago, Marie Rebelle and Wicked Wednesday hosted my guest post, Tested. It marked the launch of my writing career. I had completed an erotic writing course with Rachel Kramer Bussel, who encouraged our class to hone our writing skills by writing erotic memes. I am good at following directions. After that guest blog, in January 2016, I created my website and began blogging my stories. I’m a creature of habit. Each year, I look back to assess and evaluate my progress, productivity, and lessons...

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Dr. J.'s News

Dr. J.’s Top Ten Most-Read Erotic Stories of 2020

This year Dr. J.’s Top Ten most-read stories span the life of my blog and represent each year I’ve written. I guess the deep dive for stories had to do with the pandemic. Lots of reading to keep us busy and distract us. When I compared it to the Top Ten List of 2019, I was struck that the 10th and 1st position stories were the same. 10 Truck Sex and The Calendar Man tied for the tenth spot. Truck Sex, a nostalgic revisit of sexual firsts in the truck, clocks in TIED for Number 10. Joy and Bubba reclaim...

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Fiction

Dr. J.’s Top 10 Erotic Blog Stories of 2019

Hello Erotica Readers! It’s hard to believe that 2019 closes out this week. I wanted to share my Top 10 Erotic Blog Reads for the year. It amazes me to see what everyone likes. Adventure. Novelty. Settings. Kink. If you missed any of my stories, now is your chance to see the most popular. 10. The Calendar Man It is the first installment of a five-episode story about a kinky firefighter who moved to town and meets someone interesting in yoga class. 9. Working A Slick Connection This is the fourth installment of Bill and Sue’s bathroom shaving adventure. The...

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Fiction / M/F Fiction

A Walled Reunion: An Erotic Short

Leaning against the barn, wearing my ragged jean skirt and old gifted boots, I waited. The scent of dirt, horses, and hay filled the air. Our ritual had been to meet here every Friday at the end of the workday for the hottest sex imaginable. Allen was a creature of habit but was he ten years later? A truck motor echoed in the air as it rumbled over the gravel road. My heart fluttered. As the vehicle came closer, it slowed and stopped within several feet of me. Through the windshield, I saw the face I missed. Allen stared at...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

Teaching Authors What I Know About Writing Sex

Last year this time I was getting ready to attend my second Florida Writers Association Annual Conference. My editor created two presentations and a workshop. I was excited to see her work and experience her magic and catch up with old friends I’d met the year before. An unexpected request occurred over the conference which finds me here writing this post. The faculty coordinator asked to create some specific workshops about sex for the group this year. It flattered me and terrified me. This group is not focused on sex per se like other presentations have been. But I said...