Category: NonFiction

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

Teaching Authors What I Know About Writing Sex

Last year this time I was getting ready to attend my second Florida Writers Association Annual Conference. My editor created two presentations and a workshop. I was excited to see her work and experience her magic and catch up with old friends I’d met the year before. An unexpected request occurred over the conference which finds me here writing this post. The faculty coordinator asked to create some specific workshops about sex for the group this year. It flattered me and terrified me. This group is not focused on sex per se like other presentations have been. But I said...

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NonFiction

Onstage or Backstage Simple Reasons I Lead with My Big Heart

Friday can be a weird day in a writer’s life. It’s catch-up from the week. Organizing. Listening to pressure washers, blowers, and garbage trucks. That’s my Friday anyway. I get focused! But this week it also reminded me why I lead with a big heart. Most of you know Friday is a social media day for noting #FriendFriday #FollowFriday #FF. My Sister in Smut, Rachel Woe sent out the coolest tweet this morning. You can read it here with replies. Her sentiment is huge. “Y’all make the eroticaverse a better, sexier place with your words and wisdom.” Yes, better. Yes,...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

Life Interrupted

Life gets interrupted with so many things, but we trudge on. Sickness is tricky because it drains you both physically and emotionally. I’m on day 15 and just getting my head above water. I celebrated this Friday alongside my thank you tulips, coffee, and blueberry pie. I threw caution to the wind and enjoyed myself this morning. Everybody gets sick. It was my turn. That’s a risk of travel, and sharing over the holidays. One I will always accept. This ailment is a doozie. But you know what? Life goes on for this writer even from my day bed. I wrote,...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

Dr. J.’s 2018 Year-in-Review

I started my 2018 year-i- review in Florida, wrote more in North Carolina, created the picture in Georgia and finished it at my desk at home. It’s an example of my life this year, all over the place. It’s important for me to look back at where I have come since December 29, 2015, when I took a deep breath and submitted my first story, “Tested” was a guest post on Wicked Wednesday. Never did I imagine all that would occur in my writing. This reflective journey validates my efforts.   REFLECT AND TAKE STOCK of the year events. I...

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Book Review / Dr. J's Spotlight / NonFiction

Book Review: Justin Lehmiller’s Tell Me What You Want

The title of Justin’ Lehmiller’s book, Tell Me What You Want could be found in my world. I spend a lot of time in the sex fantasy world writing, sex-positive literary erotica, it thrilled me when this book came out. As a retired sex therapist who loves sex science, I couldn’t wait to see the results of a large research study. Justin Lehmiller writes with a knack for plain speak about research topics. It makes this a solid read for researchers and non-researchers alike. Not only does he provide new information for the world about what Americans think, he positions his...

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Dr. J's Spotlight / NonFiction

Tamara Lush, Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Vol 4 Contributor

It’s almost time. On December 11, 2018, Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 4 releases. What better way to get jazzed than to meet one of the contributors. May I introduce, Tamara Lush. This writer is someone I know in real life!!! See I am fangirling, too. Tamara was tremendously helpful to me at the beginning of my writing career and I appreciate she took the time to talk with me and answer all my crazy questions. I am thrilled to see her story in this anthology. But let’s see what she has to say about it. How do...

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Dr. J's Spotlight / NonFiction

Meet Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Vol 4 Contributor, Eliza David

A year ago, I celebrated the release of Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 3 and my story contribution, Infused Leather. I would not have guessed that it would be selected as a semi-finalist in the 2018 Florida Writers Association Royal Palm Literary Awards. It was such an exciting year for which I am grateful. I am delighted to talk about the next volume. Starting today I will share a couple of the wonderful authors who are in Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 4. I wish the editor, Rachel Kramer Bussel, and all the authors much success in...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

How Do I Put Sex in the Scenes?

I’m a little behind in my weekly sexuality blog. Usually, when that happens, it is because I’m processing something. So, what exactly is on my mind? It turns out it’s about sex scenes and the crossroads intersection of Dr. J. sex therapist/sex educator with Dr. J. Erotica writer. MY WRITER’S LIFE The last several weeks have been busy. When you weren’t looking, here’s what I’ve been doing. Attending and providing conference workshops. Negotiating my next speaking engagements. Facilitating housing for my author friends for the Amelia Island Book Festival in February 2019 and then for my Sisters in Smut in...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

Revisiting My Inspirational Summer Vacation

Remember when you were a kid and during the first week back at school you told everyone what you did for summer vacation. That’s how I felt about returning home this summer, but I held onto it for a while, savoring all the goodness I received. For me, this summer’s trip was about location as writer inspiration. While I didn’t plan the trip, imagine my surprise when my partner laid out all the writer places I would experience. Now Fall has begun and since temperature wise it still feels like summer, I decided to revisit the inspirations of my vacation in the...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

Fangirling in Fernandina

It has been one month since I posted a blog. There has been a lot happening in my life. In the first two weeks of February, I prepared for my guests who visited the last two weeks of February. My focus for the first two weeks of March was dedicated to my root canal. I will gloss right over that and move on to my discussion. The Amelia Island Book Festival February marked the 17th Annual Amelia Island Book Festival. Adriana Trigiani was the keynote speaker for the Kick-Off Luncheon. David Baldacci introduced her as “his Italian sister,” and the...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

My Pleasure Platform

Last Saturday night, I took part in a wild interview for Consensually Speaking with Gio. My Sisters in Smut, Mischa Eliot, Oleander Plume shined. And at the end, we all made parting comments. I said, “I have a pleasure platform, and I’m going to use it.” Did I issue an imperative for myself? What did I mean? How did that fit for us erotica writers? It caused me to reflect on the picture below. I created it several months ago. This idea must have been sitting in my subconscious, but I hadn’t considered it this way. Pleasure Platform Defined At...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

Let the Writer’s Retreat Begin

I drove through a forest of dense hardwoods, down a two-rut road to reach my destination on the peninsula’s end. The shimmering lake waters greeted me. I pictured my friends, Heather and Darryl sitting inside the cabin working away. They had arrived two hours before me, and as I drove, I felt their writing energy pulling me along the road. Spending time with friends who no longer are a fifteen-minute drive away is a precious commodity. My heart sang. After a hello break, all heads were down. I opened my computer to begin my writing process. Time is an artificial...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

My Legitimate Seat at the Erotica Table

“Hi. My name is Dr. J. I am an erotica writer.” Your turn. As an experiment, insert your name and make that statement to someone. Did you hesitate? What was your body response? What was their body response? What did the person say to you? If your experience was like mine, you received an instant like or a dislike response, no in-between grey area. This week I have confirmation that I am an erotica writer. My work releases on Tuesday, November 21 in Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 3. Read what my editor, Rachel Kramer Bussel said about...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

Two Years Down the Writing Road

Two years ago, I attended my first Florida Writers Conference, 2015. I arrived with only an idea of what fiction writing was all about, and I learned so much. This week is the annual Florida Writers Conference 2017, and I’m excited to go. Since I’m a little further down the writing road, it will take on a different feel.       I will be staying with two women from my Pen Ten Group, Editor, Heather Whitaker and Author, Laura Lascarso. Heather and I met six months before I went to that 2015 FWA conference. I have attended several of Heather’s...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

My Writer’s Life: 5 Times I Laughed and Learned this Week.

This past week had five lovely moments of laughing and learning. 1-My Live-in Editor. Every writer should live with an editor for a while, especially if it’s your favorite. For me, that would be my friend, Heather Whitaker. While she worked on different manuscripts at my dining room table, I experienced her editing process. We traded words and ideas, storyboarding, micro-tension, internal and external conflict. The learning curve was fascinating. I stayed up late, I slept harder, and my dreams commenced. It was an invigorating experience. Every writer should take the opportunity if they get it. Oh, the laughing and...

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Dr. J.'s News / NonFiction

Creativity Sat in the Middle of Hurricane Irma

For two years, much of my life has lived in U-Haul boxes. The month before last, I moved into my new house, and I began to unbox. When I evacuated for Matthew last year, I couldn’t see the things that were in all those boxes, plus I had no idea where anything was located. This time as Irma came raging through, my belongings had new places in my home. Many items were out of the boxes, but not all. I stood looking at my possessions attempting to decide what I would carry with me in my Prius. So, what did...

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NonFiction

Get What You Need

I’m humming the Rolling Stones tonight. You know the song-You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Let me focus on the next line. “But if you try sometimes, well you might find you get what you need.” I guess I needed change as a theme in my life. Some of you may know I have a new home and have been moving into it for the last two weeks. The move officially ended today when my child also ventured to a new home, complimenting his new job. Our entire family has been in transition. But in the midst of house-moving...

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NonFiction

At the Knee of a Poet ~ Writing Lessons ~

A NON FICTION Selection On Writing. Today, I was unsettled. I walked to clear my head and focus on a new story idea. I didn’t know it was a “walking meditation” until my aunt arrived at my side. I could have been traipsing down the grassy path to the pond of my youth, or the woodsy trail to the Big Rocks, at the creek, near the cemetery. But today, she and I walked on my new island path. The last time I saw my Aunt, was in Spring 2006 before she died. She posed for me on an old brick...

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NonFiction

Comments to Adrea Kore

As a beginning erotic writer, I am making exciting connections with others in the genre. These authors are wonderfully supportive, kind, and helpful. One of my favorite new writing friends hails from Australia, Adrea Kore. From the other side of my world, her lyrical style and use of metaphor intrigue and move me. I told her, that when my writing grew up, it wanted to be like hers. This week Adrea made a comment on twitter about a blog post. Because no one left comments, she wondered why it was popular. I read and absorbed her profound words. I have...

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NonFiction

Milestones Measured by a Semester

Two years from my human sexuality college classroom, I watched Facebook announcements of at least ten more of my students graduating.  While I am proud and happy, it saddened me to realize the rhythm of college semesters is fading for me. It didn’t escape me that I wrote this prompt about milestones, couched within a college semester window. A new life focused on writing moves me along a new, delightful ebb and flow. So what has my writing semester life, from January to April, given me? This current writing marks my tenth Wicked Wednesday contribution. I posted eight times for...

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NonFiction

From Sex Therapist to Erotic Writer: How & Why

Throughout my career, people have asked how I became the sexuality educator and sex therapist, Dr. J. Most people who asked the HOW question, presented it in a naturally curious context, especially if they knew I grew up “in the deep south.” While the how question has dogged me throughout my career, my plan to write erotica upon retirement was met with a different question, WHY? It got served up as a main course of barbed judgment and a side serving of, “You write smut, what a waste.” It fascinated me that two separate words, “how” and “why,” rolled off...