Category: NonFiction

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FWSG / NonFiction

How to Handle the Book Launch Week, or Not?

Book Launch week has arrived and here I am excited, and a little overwhelmed. If you’re like me, releasing a new book feels topsy-turvy, like a rollercoaster flipping around in my stomach. And I find myself at that very spot as it is the day before book launch. But I do plan for self-care. Here is the list of things I’m doing to manage it all so I can stay in the moment with the good feelings of celebration. Working with the list will help me navigate the excitement and feel connected. The Personal List for the Book Launch Pull...

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FWSG / NonFiction

The Way to Sensational Sex is with Eight Key Elements

If sensational sex is what you are looking for, you’ve come to the right place. Because we don’t get comprehensive sex education, most people believe our bodies will just know what to do for physical pleasure. The reality is there are many aspects at play that make sex sensational. My sex therapy mentor, David Schnarch, used to say that sex is a learned skill and an acquired taste. So, looking at the eight elements for sensational sex from research shows us we have to be an active and communicative partner to have that great sex. If you are an author,...

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FWSG / NonFiction

How to Craft Meaningful Body Movement in Scenes-with-Sex

Body movement in scenes-with-sex may feel difficult to write because you have to know what bodies can do, which body is doing what, and what movements match the character in their personality makeup and motivation. If you’ve been following the FWSG blog post series, you may have a more in-tune idea of how to write this. But if not, I’ll add some ideas to get you rolling. Create Body Movement Activities-With Your Clothes On Writers have a reputation for conducting exhaustive research. Does that also play into writing scenes-with-sex? I’ve been to a sex club to find a vibe. I’ve...

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FWSG / NonFiction

How to Craft Erotic Scenes Leading with An Emotional Touch

When you craft erotic scenes and lead with an emotional touch, you have many advantages. First, you ground the readers in that wonderful sticky glue of emotion for why the erotic exchange is occurring. This makes our brains stand up and take notice. And it’s your language choice that adds to the process. Couple that with some literary devices to best relay the message you want your writing to send to your characters. Language—How do you decide what words to use to craft erotic scenes? If you are like most people who received no formal sex education, the answer to...

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FWSG / NonFiction

Crafting Passion: How to Write Authentic Scenes with Incredible Sex

Crafting passion may be the most difficult thing to write in fiction. That’s what I hear from fellow writers. Sex. It’s intimidating. It’s fear-inducing. It’s anxiety-ridden. But what if I told you it didn’t have to be? What if you knew how to write authentic scenes that included incredible sex? It’s all in a little education and rethinking the definitions of scenes-with-sex. In crafting passion, ask, what is a scene-with-sex? Most people will be surprised I phrased my question this way, using scenes-with-sex instead of sex scenes. That’s because most of the time with your characters, sexuality is a part...

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FWSG / NonFiction

The Ultimate Writer’s Playground: The Sexy Brain on Storytelling

A writer’s playground is vast, but the ultimate and last frontier is the sexy brain on storytelling. When I say playground, I want you to think “amusement park” for writers, set up in the brain. What is unique about the brain that these three areas dissect? Sex, storytelling, and play all have brain chemicals in common. The more you know and understand, the more you can tap into this new world to move readers on the connection trail to your characters and story to help them feel the entire process along the way. They each are a journey. You, as...

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FWSG / NonFiction

Love Potions and Brain Chemistry: Decoding the Science of Relationships

The science of relationships is an area where I see authors use personality tests to help them build their characters. I have a test that I like to use because it is based on personality and brain chemistry. It also helps answer the question, do “opposites attract” or do “birds of a feather stick together?” Let’s dive into the work of Dr. Helen Fisher and see what brains have to do with relationships. Helen Fisher’s Personality Model Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a way to understand how some people are attracted to each other, and others are not?...

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FWSG / NonFiction

Raw Heat Lies in the Mechanics of Relational Intimacy

Let’s discuss the mechanics of relational intimacy or a complete relational sexual system. When you write, do you know how to create the relationship? How do you measure the emotion and heat and know where it comes from? You may not even think about the way I described it. But as a sex therapist, I can tell you that individuals negotiate relational sexual systems based on their own sense of self—to be exact, how much ‘self’ a person has. How would you show this in writing? And where does this come through in sex? What Have You Used to Create...

Emotions in color are dispersing from the brain to the air and fasteners are showing emotions 1

FWSG / NonFiction

Learn How to Craft Intimacy in Sex with an Emotional Lead

FWSG Blog Post #9 Crafting intimacy in sex is what I believe to be one of the most important things a writer can learn to enrich their stories. I see authors twist themselves up with how to write what I’ll call the picture of sex, which may only be the telling of what’s happening, devoid of the meaning behind it. In fact, the motivation or emotion behind the *want to*, can steal the show. Can intimate closeness trump climax? Well, you can write a climax without it, but when you have all the sticky, wonderful connections of emotion that come...

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FWSG / NonFiction

Fantasy’s Storytelling Role: A New Dimension of Character Interaction

FWSG Blog Post #8 Consider fantasy a gateway to character complexity and a way to unveil the mind’s treasures. When I considered writing The Fiction Writer’s Sexuality Guide, I knew I wanted to include fantasy information. It is an essential topic in writing about sexuality and one not discussed much. I want to introduce you to Justin Lehmiller’s sex research on fantasy so that you can feel confident in using it in your writing. Fantasy Defined First, fantasy occurs while you are awake. It’s the video or pictures you create. Second, these images turn you on. Typically, folks get nervous...

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FWSG / NonFiction

From Taboo to Tool Kit: How to Embrace Your Characters’ Sexual History

#7 FWSG Blog Post Sexual History is one tool that is a frame of reference for writing about sex in scene. It was a true favorite in my therapy practice and in educating students about relationships. It is rich with PEMS components, the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. In fact, it could be called your character’s missing chapter, an unexplored territory of sexual history. From now on, I hope that you will create a dedicated chapter in your Character Bible for sex history. Your full character profile will be complete when you’ve done this. Why Sexual History? Sexual history is...

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FWSG / NonFiction

Break the Silence: How to Talk about Sexuality in Your Stories

#6 FWSG Post Series Many people don’t know how to talk about sexuality in writing. Typically, the focus of sexuality is on the “sex scene,” and I’m on a mission to change that. What if we could learn more about the characters through their sexuality in all scenes? If writers had a structure on which to build sexuality, the characters and the story would have much more connection and depth. We would also understand the meaning of their actions when sex becomes physically close and intimate. To discuss sexuality in your stories, I suggest considering writing about sexuality with respect....

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FWSG / NonFiction

How PEMS Sexual Intimacy Shapes Your Characters

#5 FWSG Blog Series PEMS Sexual Intimacy is this week’s topic in the Fiction Writer’s Sexuality Blog Series. If this is your first read in the series I’m highlighting content from my upcoming release, The Fiction Writer’s Sexuality Guide, you can look here. I want to introduce you and help you understand the complex interplay of PEMS in sexual intimacy, its implications for personal growth and storytelling, and practical advice on weaving these elements into compelling character narratives. It begins by considering the bigger picture of sexuality for your characters, understanding how sexuality is an integral part of your story,...

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FWSG / NonFiction

How to Move from Worrying about Writing Sex to Enjoying It

#4 In the FWSG Series Did the phrase “writing sex” elicit a specific response inside you? For most writers, it does. Excitement, dread, denial. It’s not the same for everyone because of you, the person. Your experience in the world and your belief systems add to this thinking. Ask yourself: How do you feel about writing sex? What do you know about sex to write about it? Let’s explore what this is about and how to lessen the worry and enhance the enjoyment of writing. Person of the Writer In Writing Sex – Own Where You Are Most writers I...

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FWSG / NonFiction

Fiction Writers: What If Sexuality Can Enhance Deeper Storytelling?

#3 in the FWSG Series Fiction Writers: Can you imagine a world where sexuality is the gateway to deeper storytelling? Welcome to your new reality. Anyone who writes fiction can gain helpful information for their story with The Fiction Writer’s Sexuality Guide: Sex—It’s More Than a Scene. It can be one more tool in your toolbox to develop rich characters and your story. When I first started this project, I thought that only erotica or romance authors could use a new template and paradigm for writing about sex. The more I talked to other authors, the more I realized from...

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FWSG / NonFiction

How I Jumped into Nonfiction: The Fiction Writer’s Sexuality Guide

# 2 in the FWSG Series Where does nonfiction fit into a writing career? I received many tidbits of wisdom, but the one that stuck was that a nonfiction book was like a business card. It is a calling card that highlights your wares. The idea wiggled around in my head, and after Darryl Bollinger’s comments on helping authors write about sex, I started working on mine, with its last title, The Fiction Writer’s Sexuality Guide: Sex—It’s More Than a Scene. Where the Nonfiction Writing Process Began. Early in my writing career, I met Judith Briles of The Book Shepherd....

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FWSG / NonFiction

Boosting Your Writing Energy: The Power of Collaboration and Support

#1 in the FWSG Series I feel a familiar, historic writing energy as the new year begins. Specifically, academic dissertation energy. One’s dissertation is a research piece where you either confirm someone else’s research or bring forward a new idea. You may have found your niche if your work brings something new forward. If you don’t know what it’s like to write a dissertation, it’s hard. The process is complex. Long and drawn out. It follows tedious rules. It goes through committees that approve, suggest, or deny movement forward. It can be so demanding that many of us called it...

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Challenges / NonFiction

Purple Passion Self-Care: A Plan for Ultimate Pleasure

You’ve reached Purple Passion Self-Care in the last three days. Can you believe you are near the end? Do you remember how the challenge started? I celebrated this morning by watching Magic Mike’s Last Dance. I loved the idea presented in the movie that when bodies move, they are sexy. Hopefully, you know yours a lot more in all four dimensions: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. That’s what sexual self-care is about—nourishing, understanding, and balancing these four components in you. I hope you made friends with yourself and learned many things. Let’s combine the last three days with your plan...

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NonFiction

Reaching Sexual Wholeness: This Sensual Journey is for YOU!

You’ve completed your third week of your sexual wholeness. Just found us? Start here. How are you different from week one? Week Two? Are you stepping into familiar territory now and enjoying yourself? Have you been journaling about your thoughts and feelings and finding new information about yourself? Week Four of Your Purple Passion Challenges Day 22 Challenge: Take Yourself on A Sexy Date. Enjoy your own company. Demonstrate to yourself you know what you like. Set up a situation that fills you up from the inside out and the outside in. Honor all your senses to overload if you...

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Challenges / NonFiction

A Journey to Sexual Self-Expression: Exploring the Allure of Purple Passion

A journey to sexual self-expression begins with one step. If you started on January 1, Hooray. If you are starting now, this is where you are supposed to be. Purple Passion is synonymous with sexual energy, wisdom, and desire. It’s yours. Tap into yourself and see what it is about. Check out the daily challenges from week one and week two. Read over this week’s challenges and see if you want to prepare. It’s always good to set time aside to consider sexuality. That is part of making space for it in your life, too. Remember, the point is to...

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NonFiction

In 2023, My Purple Passion Work Vibrated and Rocked Me Forward

For 2023, I painted purple passion into my themes and products. The energy of it keeps me creating more. With a busy schedule and at the year’s end, I have focused on resolving some health issues. As they settle down, I’ll be headed to Austin for a holiday with family and friends. Travel was a theme for this year. Mr. J. and I took our first big trip since the Covid pandemic. We explored Europe on a river cruise from Budapest to Amsterdam, and it was delightful. I enjoyed several months in North Carolina, the Piedmont, and the mountains. Travel...

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NonFiction

Trailblazing Women Empower Others to Embrace Their Sexual Health

Women empower each other, knowingly or unknowingly. I don’t know about you, but I want solid and supportive voices around me. I love Serena Williams’s quote, “Every woman’s success should be an inspiration to another. We’re strongest when we cheer each other on.” When I create a new project, I want to hear the voices around me of the women who aspire to help, cheer, console, and revel in what I do. For the Purple Sex Journal, with its focus on sexual health and wellness, I asked women known in the sexual field to write an inspirational quote for the...

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NonFiction

Your Purple Sex Journey Needs a Robust Toolkit

Your purple sex journey needs a robust toolkit that will highlight all your senses and help you focus on all your body’s sexual components-physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. What will you need to support you on your journey? Begin the first steps of your journey with an upbeat attitude, an open mind, and an open heart. I have gathered an essential list of provisions for you. As you go along, you will discover many new things that will support and sustain you on your journey. To start, here are the basics. Location and Commitment for Your Purple Sex Journey A safe-haven...

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NonFiction

How Meditation Unlocks Your Sexual Body Health

Meditation is one of the several tools I bring forward in Purple Sex. The benefits of a meditation practice help you unlock and access the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of human sexuality in your body. The holistic nature of sexual wellness work is exemplified in meditation. Moving along a purple sex journey of discovery, meditation can bring balance to your entire sexual body. What is Meditation? Meditation is a practice that uses focus and mind-clearing for general well-being. It can take many forms, from ancient philosophies to religious practice to conscious bodywork. To enhance your sexuality, you can...